The Runaway Train: My Life Before Recovery
For years, my life felt like a runaway train, fueled by addiction to drugs, chaotic relationships, and anything that offered a temporary escape. But these were just symptoms, masks for a deeper disease – a need to numb the pain and disconnect from myself. I wasn’t an addict because I used drugs; I used drugs and other vices – sex, fleeting shopping highs, the drama of unstable relationships – to quiet the noise within. The consequences were devastating. I became a felon, a liar, a thief, and a mother who wasn’t always there. Many bad decisions were made in active addiction, but some were simply the failings of a broken human being. For years, I thought this chaotic existence was just “life,” and I believed I deserved the misery.
A Tidal Wave of Truth: The Decision to Get Clean
Then, a little over nine years ago, the truth hit me with the force of a tidal wave: I was an addict, and there was another way to live. It was a profound realization, a crack of light in the darkness I had inhabited for so long. The decision to get clean was surprisingly straightforward, a desperate grasp at that light. But the daily commitment to stay clean is the real battle. My disease is a master manipulator, whispering lies in my own voice. Every day, one moment at a time, I fight back with the help of my support network and the tools I’ve learned. It’s a constant vigilance, because one wrong turn could lead me back to the darkness I fought so hard to escape.
Finding Purpose: Rebuilding Confidence and Giving Back
For so long, my addiction stole my confidence and my drive. It told me I was worthless. But almost three years ago, something shifted. A desire to give back, to show others that recovery was possible, began to bloom within me. This newfound purpose filled a void I hadn’t even realized was there. This growing confidence led me to apply for a position at The Orenda Center of Wellness, in their Transitional Housing division. It felt like a long shot, a dream I barely dared to voice. It was a leap of faith, and unequivocally one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I was humbled and deeply grateful that Orenda took a chance on me. It changed the trajectory of my life in ways I couldn’t have imagined.
Gratitude for the Past: Connecting Through Shared Experience
For the first time, I found a strange sense of gratitude for my past. Without those struggles, I wouldn’t be who I am today. I wouldn’t be able to connect with the incredible women in Transitional Housing who need understanding, empathy, and consistent accountability. I wouldn’t have the privilege of standing alongside men in early recovery at Orenda Inpatient, offering living proof that recovery isn’t just a concept – it’s a tangible reality. The sense of community and the holistic approach to wellness I’ve witnessed at Orenda have been instrumental in their journeys, and in my own continued healing.
A Cherished Calling: My Life Transformed at Orenda
Now, as a 50-year-old recovering addict, I genuinely look forward to going to work each day. It’s no longer just a job; it’s a calling, a lifestyle I cherish and want to live for as long as life allows. Life still throws punches, days aren’t always easy, but with the unwavering support of my network, my family, my incredible co-workers at Orenda, and my Higher Power, I get back up. Life has gotten better. I am the person I was always meant to be, and I am committed to showing others within the supportive environment of The Orenda Center that recovery is not just a possibility – it’s a tangible, achievable reality. Orenda is more than a wellness center; it’s a lifeline, a place where lives are truly transformed through compassion and dedicated care. I am deeply grateful to be a part of that transformative process every single day. Because of the hard work, the dedication to myself, and the incredible, life-affirming community at Orenda, life has not just improved – it has blossomed.
Written By,
Charlotte Boswell
Administrative Assistant
Men’s Inpatient
